Who LIKES waiting?
Nobody does. Waiting in traffic. Waiting in line. Waiting for that phone call you’re expecting. Gosh, it gives me a bitter taste in my mouth just writing those examples! In fact, my husband Seth says waiting is the “worst thing,” second only to losing. < Yep. And God gave him ME as a wife. Me: “the Tardy Queen”. No joke: I was awarded “Most Fashionably Late” as a superlative in school. Didn’t know that was a superlative? It wasn’t. They made it up for me.> So yea, that’s where we’re coming from. Neither one of us has a lot of patience. God has a sense of humor.
As you might remember from my previous posts, God asked me at the start of this year to “try” → to try for yoga ministry, try living overseas for 4 months, and try for a baby. The ‘baby try’ was the try most riddled with emotion and fear. In late March, God spoke to me again and said it was OK to stop trying for a baby, which was confusing. The only thing that was clear was that it was a part of my journey to learn obedience, even when I don’t understand. And, of course, learning to wait well.
Although I don’t want to learn to wait well, the thing I find encouraging about acquiring this skill-set is that it’s a skill that will prove transferrable to future seasons of life. I imagine waiting on a baby will NOT be the last thing I wait on. Patience, as they say, is a virtue. And, unfortunately, it’s a virtue not attained through getting what you want when you want it.
I feel like I’ve heard God tell me that the season I am in now is “set apart” and special — and that it would be terrible for me to wish it away by focusing on the one thing I don’t have.
And then, I realized something that really blew my mind: this IS the season I’ve been waiting for!
Allow me to explain: I’ve never been one of those girls who day dreamed about my babies. I never picked out baby names or nursery themes. I never sat around and thought about what it would be like to raise small humans and or what my tiny humans would be like. I always figured it would happen, but never really gave it much thought. In fact, I was more concerned with NOT getting pregnant, so that I could pursue my dreams! (…and keep partying hard, but that was a different life and another story for another blog)
The things I DID daydream about were the adventures I would have, the businesses/organizations I would build, and the kind of impact I would have on the world. I wondered about the guy God would pair me with. I’d imagine how we’d do bigger things together than we could ever do on our own. I dreamed about traveling the world with him and doing things that make a difference.
And then, it hit me: THAT IS WHERE I AM LIVING.
I am living in the season that I dreamed out.
And I realized I am being ROBBED of the JOY in soaking up the juicy goodness of THIS SEASON, because I am so fixated with anxiety of when the next season start.
Lemme tell you, I am someone who prides herself on being present. I am always the one to soak it up and be in the moment. But from the moment I saw those two lines on that pregnancy test last summer, I was already IN the next season. And then when that season was taken from me, and I was catapulted back into the previous season (which I had been enjoying), I freaked. It REALLY threw me off. I was stuck thinking about that baby. That pregnancy. That questionable blood work. Fear of the future.
I share this all with you because, as in most things, I’m sure I’m not the only one.
So I write this to any of you who are looking with anxiety-filled-eyes at the season ahead of you. I’m challenging you — and challenging myself — to focus on the good in the season you’re in now. What things did you look forward to that are already happening? What dreams have already come true? What are you supposed to be learning? What do you need to do to allow yourself to soak up the juicy goodness of NOW?
Perhaps the JOY of the NOW can overshadow the bitter taste of the waiting.
I’ll believe in that. Who’s with me? 🙂
Are you a Missionary Yogi?
If you are a woman passionate about yoga, serving others, and building community, you’re invited join us on this 5 day intensive retreat in Asheville, NC this July!
This retreat is a Vision Trip for the future of our Missionary Yogi Community. This trip is for women who are serious about using their yoga practice and their faith to impact the world with the love of Jesus; women who are eager to pour into others and cultivate community in yoga ministry.
Join us to build your practice, your faith, and your tribe of like-minded missionary yogis!
Where? Asheville, North Carolina!
Asheville is arguably the coolest town in The South.
A vibrant city with a bohemian spirit, Asheville has earned itself tons of nicknames and accolades (Beer City, Paris of the South, 25 Best Cities to Spend a Weekend, Best Outdoor Towns, Best Foodie Destinations, Most Beautiful Places in America). Asheville’s rich architectural legacy, thriving arts, music, food and beer scenes along with a relaxed mountain vibe will have you thinking about extending your stay beyond our 5 day retreat!
What are we doing on this “intensive retreat”?
- Building community in our intimate group of like-minded missionary yogi women at our beautiful mountain cabin retreat
- Learning from top yoga experts at the Asheville Yoga Festival and the Asheville Yoga Center
- Ministering to hurting women at a homeless shelter and recovery center
Set in the heart of the Appalachian Mountains, the vision of Asheville Yoga Festival is to create a space for connection, adventure, play, relaxation and healing. Downtown Asheville is the retro-urban backdrop for the 2017 Asheville Yoga festival that will feature workshops, music, and unique health & wellness vendors.
We will attend a highly-sought after immersion workshop taught by Dr. Chelsea Roberts, who was featured on the cover of Yoga Journal this month. Chelsea’s workshop, “Finding Comfort in Our Purpose: Using Yoga to Reflect, Heal, and Impact Change” is a 6-hour experience that utilizes asana, dialogue, journaling, poetry, and meditation in order to attune to our individual and collective purpose while in community with others. I’ve practiced with Chelsea and learned a lot from her — and I know you’ll love her!
PLEASE NOTE: You will be responsible for buying your own ticket to this workshop. Tickets are $120 and need to be paid for at http://www.ashevilleyogafestival.com/tickets. Hurry, as spots are going fast!
AYC has a mission of providing the highest education of Yoga. We will take a few classes at AYC over the weekend to learn from their 500 E-RYT instructors. Many of AYC’s instructors have decades of yoga experience and frequently lead 200 and 300 hr RYT programs. I’ve practiced at AYC, my yoga trainer was trained at AYC, and I intend to pursue my 500 RYT there in the future. AYC is where it’s at for yoga education.
Tell me about the ‘missions trip’ part of the retreat….
We’ll get to serve the women of Western Carolina Rescue’s “Abba’s Love” program. Abba’s Love exists to provide a plan for women to recover from brokenness, abuse, and homelessness. Abba’s Love encourages breaking the generational patterns of hopelessness and dependency on others. The program works to help women secure a stable home, job, and income and to develop an intimate relationship with Jesus Christ.
Tell me about where we’re staying…
We’ll be staying just 15 min from Asheville in a gorgeous mountain cabin complete with lots of gathering spaces, comfy beds, mountain views, and a hot tub! And the end of each day of yoga and ministry we’ll debrief and build new friendships over dinner and deep conversation.
Early Bird $349 until May 31 // Regular Registration $399 until June 30 // Late Registration $449 until July 15
You can also pay by cash or check directly to Christina.
Tickets to the Asheville Yoga Festival are going fast, so purchase your workshop ticket ASAP! Remember, the cost of your Asheville Yoga Festival workshop is NOT included. Your $120 ticket needs to be purchased at this link.
Namaste & God Bless,
“If at first you don’t succeed, try and then let go?”
Nah…that’s not the way the expression goes.
It goes, “If at first you don’t succeed, try and try again.”
You see, I have often lived it out that expression in one of two ways:
“If at first I don’t succeed… well, I wasn’t really trying anyway…”
“If at first I don’t succeed…I’ll try and try again, and then try again and again, and then I’ll force the damn thing and make it work!”
Neither have proven an awesome strategy.
As I’ve shared, 2016 was one of the roughest years I’ve had. I accumulated more fear and anxiety than ever before. I got pregnant and was afraid to lose the baby. I lost the baby. I was afraid to get news that I had a blood disorder, (like my Mom’s) that could cause major issues with all my pregnancies. Test results said that could be the case. I was afraid to get pregnant again. Haven’t gotten pregnant yet — still trying. I was afraid to pass off my job and leadership over the ministry I was building for 3 years. I was afraid to leave my safe, cozy community of friends to go travel the world. Afraid to rent my beloved home out to a stranger. Afraid to get pregnant overseas. Afraid to not get pregnant. Bah! Enough to drive me mad.
And I realized at the end of 2016 that I was weirdly comforted by this pathetic idea that maybe I wasn’t giving it my all, so it didn’t really count. Maybe I wasn’t reaallly trying.
I wasn’t risking myself fully… so it wouldn’t hurt so bad if it didn’t work out.
From last month. I feel like it’d be more gentle if it said, ‘not yet! keep trying!’ hah.
Example: last spring when we first talked about starting a family, someone suggested to me, “You don’t have to start trying. Just stop preventing.”
“Genius,” I thought. This way, if it doesn’t work out, it’s OK, because I wasn’t really trying, anyways.
This concept is about a LOT more than baby-making. It transfers into many areas of my life — and maybe yours.
“If at first you don’t succeed, well… it’s OK, because you weren’t really trying anyway.”
Doesn’t sound like a bumper sticker I’d want on my car.
At the end of 2016, I found myself eager to NOT try.
To just let things BE.
To relax, enjoy, and ‘see what happens,’ like everyone seemed to be suggesting.
And then, of course, I heard the Lord ask me “to TRY.”
To give it my best shot:
Give getting pregnant another shot
Give starting a yoga ministry a shot
Give moving overseas and living abroad a shot
To TRY. At everything. Even if that meant doing it afraid.
But, naturally, when I actually try at something, I expect it to work out.
I expect to give a valiant effort … and see success.
And when I don’t…well…
That’s when the other version of the old expression chimes in:
“If at first you don’t succeed…
force it and make it work!”
When it doesn’t work out, I think to myself, “Maybe I didn’t try hard enough. Maybe I didn’t try smart enough. I tend to half-ass some of these things…” So then I push the pendulum to swing way on the opposite end and I decide that I will make it work at all costs! To prove to myself that I can!
And as much as that sounds like ‘the American way’, I’ll tell ya —
As I’ve lumbered through forcing things, it’s been made clear to me that forced blessings is NOT what God has for me. When I am forcing things to work, I am NOT doing them in trust or in faith. I am doing them in my own strength.
Example: before leaving Cambodia our apartment in Guatemala fell through. First reaction: Frantically searching for another. What we felt God was saying: wait and see what I have for you. Result: we decided to listen (smart). We waited and got a last minute deal on an apartment even better than the last.
The courtyard in our apartment complex. SO dreamy.
This is NOT to say that it always works out. It doesn’t. Sometimes you give it a good healthy try and it doesn’t work. But that’s not the point. I’m discovering the point is OBEDIENCE. God wants to know that whatever He tells us to do, that we’ll just do it.
If He tells us to try, we try. If He tells us to wait, we wait. And we let go of the outcome. We leave it up to Him. Because, it’s up to Him anyways. We can only do our part. We listen. We obey. And then we wait.
What is God asking you to REALLY TRY at?
What is He asking you to STOP TRYING TO FORCE?
I pray you’ll press into finding that divine balance that I am trying to learn…
“….TRY and then… let go.”
I believe yoga can be just an exercise or it can be a spiritual discipline.
And, like all spiritual disciplines, it matters where your heart is and where you are devoting that discipline.
Are you glorifying God? Glorifying yourself? Or are you aimlessly emitting your devotion out into the world and inadvertently glorifying something you’re not even sure of?
I believe that when we engage our minds, bodies, and spirits in devoting our yoga practice to glorify Jesus Christ, we can cultivate a deeper more purposeful connection to God, ourselves, and the world around us.
Yoga helps us grow in our awareness of where we are at — in our minds, bodies, and spirits. And self-awareness is important to our spiritual growth. We can’t grow past our level of self-awareness.
I believe God is a personal God who wants relationship with us. He is both the Creator of the universe and the small still voice within us. He wants to journey with us and be our guide and closest friend, as long as we invite him into that place in our lives.
I believe faith is a beautiful thing to be celebrated and shared, not forced.
I know the transformational power of a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. I’ve seen the healing and redeeming work of His love in my life and in the lives of so many other people. And that’s my inspiration to share this love with you through yoga.
I believe God is as alive and powerful today as he was during the times of the Old and New Testament. That’s why I offer Biblical scriptures as meditations. The Bible is God’s timeless word — appropriate for encouragement and wisdom always. I also believe God speaks to us individually through the Holy Spirit. In this way God can offer us a timely word — a word that’s uniquely suited for us in the very moment that we hear it. This is why I offer a moment of prayer and meditation in our practices; so that we can intentionally create a space for God to speak, and for us to listen.
My aim is to invite you into a yoga practice that will strengthen your body and fill up your Spirit.
Throughout our time together on your mat or perusing this site, my prayer is that you’ll find connection, feel loved, leave refreshed.
If you want to read more about how yoga can serve our Christian faith, see www.christianspracticingyoga.com